Another journal entry from last year:
And when all is said and done, I want to be able to say that I lived a happy life. That I looked forward to living every moment of it. That sometimes I didn't do what I was supposed to do. Sometimes, I escaped, I failed. But most of the times, I followed my heart. I let it take me on its beautiful adventures and I lived them. That I loved with all my heart, being aware that it can shatter me. That I worked on the small things in life because they always mattered the most to me. That I made sure to surprise those I love and I made sure to hide the truth sometimes to make them feel secure. That sometimes I fretted for more freedom but at all times, I knew I was happier than most, and I never forgot to be grateful. That I believed in goodness and it helped me be good. That I also believed in the bad and the cruel and the unjust and it kept the blood flowing in my veins. That I strived, in my own infinitesimal way, to change. To change the world, starting from myself. That I never stopped analyzing my actions, because if I would, that is when I would stop to grow. That I took that step of asking forgiveness to someone I had hurt, that I felt my ego melt and love grow in that moment. In the end, I just want to be able to say, that I lived. In the best way I knew.
And when all is said and done, I want to be able to say that I lived a happy life. That I looked forward to living every moment of it. That sometimes I didn't do what I was supposed to do. Sometimes, I escaped, I failed. But most of the times, I followed my heart. I let it take me on its beautiful adventures and I lived them. That I loved with all my heart, being aware that it can shatter me. That I worked on the small things in life because they always mattered the most to me. That I made sure to surprise those I love and I made sure to hide the truth sometimes to make them feel secure. That sometimes I fretted for more freedom but at all times, I knew I was happier than most, and I never forgot to be grateful. That I believed in goodness and it helped me be good. That I also believed in the bad and the cruel and the unjust and it kept the blood flowing in my veins. That I strived, in my own infinitesimal way, to change. To change the world, starting from myself. That I never stopped analyzing my actions, because if I would, that is when I would stop to grow. That I took that step of asking forgiveness to someone I had hurt, that I felt my ego melt and love grow in that moment. In the end, I just want to be able to say, that I lived. In the best way I knew.
1 comment:
Tulika,
It is fun to read some of old notes in your diary. Change is the only thing which is constant. I agree that one should live as per own conscience or heart as you put it.
Take care
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