Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Emerald Colored Lake


[I realized this post might appear vague and incomprehensible. I went overboard with my incoherent blabber in this one. :)
So, just to simplify, its a letter written by a girl who has been sent to a mental asylum. The letter is addressed to her elder sister. Hopefully, this knowledge would add more meaning to the post as you read it.]


Dear Aapa,

I am happy. I have finally got wings. I am learning to fly. This morning, I flew across to the mountains through a haze of cold fog that settled between the earth and the sky to dissolve the boundaries between them. I kept flying until my wings slowly melted in the warm morning rays and I landed onto an emerald colored lake, where I fell asleep, because the water was so still.

These days I sleep a lot, and dream a lot. Ammi used to say, dreams are like bubbles. I believed that, until recently, I stretched out my hand and felt a dream.... D-R-E-A-M....and guess what, it wasn't that fragile.

I love my new home. I feel free. I no longer see the world through a window. Here, they let me step out of the door into the garden, and bathe in the sun. Remember how I was scared to laugh because then I always had to cry later on? Here, in the garden, I laugh a lot, because the others join in to laugh and cry in chorus with me, so that the balance of the universe is maintained. Balance between laughing and crying, between loving and hating, between windows and doors; there are many such balances-this is what a friend here tells me. He is wise. Sometimes, I also join in to cry when someone else feels like laughing. You know, its not really that bad to cry.


And yes, thanks for sending my favourite butterfly to me. When she lived in the painting back home, she never flapped her wings. I always wondered why. My wise friend tells me, may be she flapped her wings whenever I flapped my eyelids. So now, I have befriended the butterfly. She doesn't play that trick with me anymore. She seems happy too. Sometimes we play hide and seek. But then she cheats me and flies out of the garden. I am not allowed to go there. So, I get angry and shout at her. The nurses then give me an injection. Its a sting, like the one that occurs when I bite my palm with the corners of exactly two teeth. And then, I get wings again.

The other day, it rained while I slept. And when I woke up, the garden was full of my favourite scent. I tasted a little bit of earth. I felt very happy, very free. Then I went back to sleep. My friends here tell me its because of the medicines. But I think its like a blessing - that I don't need to identify where D-R-E-A-M ends and R-E-A-L-I-T-Y begins.

24 comments:

"just a pen in my hand" said...

ok...tis was...i dnt knw wat to say....first time m reading ur blog...my hands r trembling , n i think my hair jus stood up....god..tat was awesome...

Seema Smile said...

Good writing. Initially I thought your intro to be slightly morbid, but I read the letter, I found it really beautiful. If such was life in a mental asylum, I wish all the world was one.

Darshan Chande said...

...but I think its like a blessing - that I don't need to identify where D-R-E-A-M ends and R-E-A-L-I-T-Y begins.

Truly awesome! Agree completely with the first commenter!

Yeah, it's true often times real wisdom lies in the heads of those whom the world considers insane!

Good to see you back blogging, Tulika :)

Bhavik koladiya said...

I'm sunk in the world of numbers. 3:18 am 3G network 97% battery iPhone 3gs 32gb. And everything is changing time is now 3:20 am but battery level is still 97. It's my 20th birthday. I m like an icecube stuck in the heart shaped tray. I deserved the warmness of my mummys lap. Her golden fingers running through my hair which are gray now. Need to have her hug in the deep-freeze. Green notes can buy me a 760Li but not my mommys...time is now 3:25 am and battery level is 95%. need to fly tomorrow 6:00 am. Change is in the air hoping to have change in my life..USA replaced by INDIA....don't have words to comment on your creation. But u might smell something burning as u can dream the heaven and I have sleepless nights.

savina said...

Brilliant write up.... MAGNIFICENT is the word understated..... Keep it up!!!!

Uncommon Sense said...

most brilliant writing... began with an alice in wonder land kind of childishness and ended up real grim..

genius

Tulika Verma said...

@"just a pen.."
thanks! :) glad to know it moved you...

@Seema
Don't they say..."ignorance is bliss"? May be madness is too! :)

@Darshan
Good to know you liked it. The root concept is actually an idea that life is nothing but the effort to be 'happy'. As long as one is happy, the notions of the world do not matter.
Thanks for reading :)

Tulika Verma said...

@Bhavik..
LOL!! I hope you got to sleep in your mother's lap :)
I understand and appreciate the essence of the long insane comment. In fact, lets celebrate insanity! :)
Cheers..

@Savina...
Thanks for the appreciation...do visit again!

@Uncommon Sense...
Thank you. There are similarities between 'her' and 'me'...so it wasn't really much of a piece of art.. :)

RoHiT said...

Wow!! Wonderful post!! I want to get wings and fly too now.. You've got some great things running in that brain of yours,.. Keep writing!! :)..
--
RoHiT....:-)
dial-a-denial.blogspot.com

Christina said...

this is enchanting.

peeksi said...

Omg!!!.....how could I kept maself away from piece lyk dis.. loads of words tryn to effuse out:):)

Tulika Verma said...

@Christina
Thanks

@Peeksi
Peeks, you should peek more often at my blog :)Thank you!

Kartik said...

too good is all i can say!!! Beautiful again...

Tulika Verma said...

Thanks! One tries!

Shaoli said...

Reading your blog for the first time today. Got to know about it from FB :)

Its a beautiful write-up.... loved it! Keep writing more :)

Tulika Verma said...

Thank you Shaoli! :)

ima girl said...

I just found this ♥ your writing is so good I love reading here :)

Have you entered any of your writings in Gallery No.3 ?

Tulika Verma said...

Alex, its so good to know you liked this! When I first saw your blog, I was reminded of this story. You write very well too. I don't know what Galery No. 3 is...I'll google it :)

Anne said...

How beautiful Tulika! You truly have a gift.

Tulika Verma said...

Anne, thanks so much!

dhara said...

Amazing write-up Tulika,that you think so well and express it even better is wonderful.

Rachti Aggarwal said...

"may be she flapped her wings whenever I flapped my eyelids"

This is creativity. Nice post all together.

It reminds me of a famous song learning to fly by pink floyd.

Anonymous said...

Very forthcoming piece!

Alpana said...

Truly awesome...thousands of word will not be enough to comment....just loved it:)